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Long time no see.

Oh wow, It's been quite a long time hasn't it? I should really get into blogging, it's a good form of stress relief.

I should warn you: This is going to be one of those "what's been going on in my life" posts....

Speaking of stress, I've been getting lots of that lately. I'd lost all interest in things that used to excite me. Like reading, drawing and writing. But thankfully I've started getting my act together and a step into this transition back to my old self is to start writing again, and what better way to do it than blogging?

Hopefully it'll work. Its really frightning when you look around you one day and see everything has changed. Your school has changed, your schedule has changed, you've moved to a new country and you're living on your own. This can give rise to many emotions. In my case, it led to me going on total standby mode. I turned into an empty shell basically. All I did was wake up in the morning, go to school, keep my head down and get through the day, come back to the dorm and drown myself in made up work and basically waste time. And then go back to sleep just to repeat the whole thing all over again. It's scary to admit but at one point i think I was on the verge of becoming clinically depressed.

But then I started to realize what was going on. It saddened me to see myself in a state like that. I'd gradually slipped away from the things I used to love. All my hobbies, friends, family....I'd started losing myself! And frankly....I didn't like it one bit! Still don't actually.

And that's why I've started writing again. Because I'm scared of the nothing I've become.

But I refuse to give in! I'll get my life back on track just you wait and see!

Rise from the Ashes

Well hello...so guess what? I'm not dead!! *please insert gasps* Can you believe it?

As you may know form reading my older blog entries (really, you must have, they're not even over 5 ) I've been studying for my IGCSE exams for almost two years and now...THEY'RE OVER! Yes!! Well, not technically over, since I still have the Chemistry Paper 1 (multiple choice) exam but that's in under 20 hours and then I'll be free!

Free enough anyway, free until the 10th of August when the results come out...and then I'm screwed. However tomorrow is going to be bittersweet. That's because it's probably the last time I step foot inside my high school. As much as I'd like to deny it, I'll miss that run down building with all the mean, stuck up teachers and snobby students. I never quite fit in there, but I spent a good 5 years of my life there and it's become a second home for me, as sad as that sounds. I have so many memories there, some joyful, some exciting and some pure painful, but they're still my memories and I'll miss them regardless of how hurtful they may have been.

Same goes for my friends. I wont lie to you and say I was a popular person because I really wasn't but I have my own close circle of friends. I know they may not feel the same way but I'd give my life for them, I really would! I'll miss their pervertedness and their silly comments at everything. I'll miss playing basketball wit them during recess and having them poke fun at how bad my hand eye coordination is...but keep me on the team despite of my obvious lack of talent.  I'll miss goofing around in the Physics class just because our teacher is always stoned and we could get away with almost anything. And most of all, I'll miss THEM...no matter how mean they might have been to me at certain points they're still the best friends I never had and even though I'm almost certain I won't be missed, I'll still miss them every second of it.

You may be wondering why I'm acting like this if I'm just leaving school..well its because I'm leaving the country and moving to London for my A levels...and yeah..I'll have to work really hard to fit in all over again. Something I cannot seem to do very well.

And now, after all this whining and being a drama queen I bid you call farewell.

This blog might be the only thing that will not change no matter where I am.

Yours depressingly,
Kawaii Baka

Messy World!

So I just took some random pics of my desk and walls and realized how messy I am! So I decided to post a couple of then...for absolutely no reason but this not called random for no reason you know!

messy room

the wall

Thats it for now.... arrgh I must get back to study Bio! YUCK!!

Excuses Excuses...

Well it really has been a while since I last wrote anything but I have the perfect reason....actually it's more like an excuse and something to help me sleep at night!

My life has been lacking its usual randomness ever since school started again after Christmas break. All the teachers have been breathing down my neck about the IGs and sometimes I just feel like shoving my longest ruler down their throats! Today it was so bad I almost wished for my physics teacher to get run over by an 18 wheeled truck! (do those even exist?)

To make things even better -please note sarcasm- we had the worst case of traffic this morning. We were stuck in the same place for a whole 2 hours till the cars started moving slightly. It was horrible I tell you, horrible! Someone would think there would be less cars because of the economic recession but noooo! Those things keep reproducing like rabbits!! Our bus finally reached the school by the fifth period (10:30 am)... but the damage had already been done!

I had lost enough brain cells because of both the sun and Steve's deodorant... him and Firas kept spraying it at each other and now I know why they name it Axe! IT CUTS THROUGH YOUR BRAIN PEOPLE!! (excuse the lameness but having a period of Biology a day does that to you)

And to make matters even worse, I completely forgot about the quiz on Acid, Bases and Salts for Chemistry and I'm pretty sure inny meeny miny moe does not have a success rate of more than 50%...

Well...now that I got that off my chest I apologize to whomever actually had to read this... I hate ranting about pointless things but this was necessary. If I had not said all this I wouldn't have a proper excuse to not blog as often as I would have liked (not at all often really but that just sounded better in a sentence don't you think?)  Hope these excuses were good enough for you because that's all i can come up with for now.

Now you will have to excuse me, I feel like my bed is calling out to me begging me to come sleep (or is that me?) The bus moved its time to 5:30 am now due to the whole "not-getting-to-school-on-time-and-my-bus-almost-melting-because-of-deodorant" issue.


New, New Year's Resolutions

With 2009 just around the corner, i felt inclined to post my new year's resolutions. First off let me inform you that only 12% of people who set new year's resolution actually achieve them (and yes, I DID get that off Wikipedia) but you know what? I don't care about the statistics (and the fact that I didn't fulfill my Old new year's resolutions) I still find them fun!

So here goes nothing:
1. Pass IGCSEs with A* in ALL subjects! (what?!?! they say aim high don't they?)
2. Clean my room more often, especially my closet, God knows what creatures live in there.
3. Stop being so depressed and make some new friends! -because my best girl friend just moved all the way across the world and I miss her like hell :'( -
4. Draw more often so I'll get more Page views on DA.
5. Be a nicer person in general,  yet don't be too nice or Dee will call me a pushover again 0.o
6. stop losing so much weight so that i don't freak my mother out, but DO NOT GET FAT!!! Maybe this means I should exercise more often.
7. Keep your new year's resolutions!!! WOOT WOOT! You can do it!!!!

Thats all folks! (I  love Loony Tunes, just thought I'd trow that in somewhere)

Happy New Year!
Kawaii Baka

First post!

Oh I cannot believe I finally opened a LJ account. I'd been meaning to do it since AGES but never actually got round to it, until a moment of pure boredom. Hopefully i will post things regularly and will not disappoint myself (as i usually end up doing XD).

And when I say I'll post 'things' i mean EVERYTHING! Its not called Kawaii baka's land of Pure RANDOMNESS for nothing! It could be a picture, story, poem, or just pointless ramblings (pretty much like this one) And i thank anyone who actually spends ANY time reading them, and you will thereby be my hero! ^-^

That's all for now.
Kawaii Baka